The curtains open to reveal that the whole stage is shrouded in darkness except for a single spotlight with an empty chair inside its light. After approximately 30 seconds, a man dressed in a smart suit with a briefcase walks into the light and sits down on the chair, placing the briefcase beside him. Then looks at his watch as he taps his foot.
/looks at the audience the whole time./
MAN: Where the hell are they?!!
MAN: This always happens . . .
Man: I always turn up a few minutes early. They always turn up god knows how many hours later. If at all!! I mean. . . I always tell them “Now try to be on time for once.” Then they’re like –
/Puts on a voice/
MAN: Oh, don’t be so goddamn stupid! We’re always on time. It’s just your watch is too fast. Stop being stupid.
MAN: Me!! STUPID?! They always act like it’s my fault they’re late! They blame me for their ineptness. Sometimes I think they’re just a sorry excuse for friends. Alright . . . Malcolm isn’t too bad and Judy . . . I suppose. Judy
/leans back in the chair, folding his arms as if reminiscing/
MAN: Judy she always does this thing . . .
MAN: She always munches down on Cheetos before she is going to have sex.
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